As I turn 40 next month, I think about pausing for a while and wondering. Looking back at the beginning of my horizon, I notice that the road of my journey is so narrow. Humps serve as hurdles that make my journey more complicated. I see myself on the losing end, believing that I can no longer continue to finish the course. I always go back to the same old route. I am shattered. Then, I see a man walking behind me. Every time I stumble on the road He keeps goading me to continue. He keeps telling me not to be disturbed by those setbacks. Those knocks are designed to hone me to become stronger than ever. He whispers to me to keep the faith and continue with what I believe in life, that life is a gift and living it is priceless. Not all are given the chance to explore the dynamic beauty of life and its boundary. There are people relying on me so I need to continue. There are too many blessings scattered along the road. I’m just too focused on the other side of the fence. I recognized the message and told myself that I have to continue the journey, hoping to meet that man with a consecrated soul at the end.
At 40, I’ve learned how to enjoy the moment. I’ve learned that each connection to someone and to moments has a purpose. I just have to be open-minded, regardless of how I feel about that person. Am sure I will learn something new and something about myself, too. At 40 I’ve learned to become more humble in life. I just let go of people disappearing from my life. I just think that maybe we just crossed paths for some reason. Grudges aren’t worth it. I just learned how to be proactive. I am still a woman who doesn’t trust words without action. I just keep my heart, principles and dignity. Experiences have taught me how to become smart. Little by little I’ve come to appreciate my extraordinary life, and continue to live my life to its greatest potential. I am just so blessed for having a very supportive family, co-workers and most of all, my best friends.
I know I have more life full of memories and opportunities yet to come. They are more priceless than any other stuff. By then, I will have had so much to fill my storyboard. My 40s will surely give me more time for my personal growth. And I believe that there's a better and straighter path that will reveal itself if I keep my eyes and mind open. So hold me God.
After my twenty (20) days of business and pleasure trip to USA, I suddenly had this feeling of longing for some spiritual enrichment, so I decided to take a leave of absence. My good friend recommends me to visit this community of consecrated women run by the Dominican Sisters of Regina Rosarii, or most popularly known as the Regina Rosarii Institute for Contemplation in Asia (RICA). I have personally met Sister Neneng Marquilliero, so sad I forgot to take a souvenir photo with her. She is very accommodating and has angelic voice. They responded to the call to live a consecrated life that is more contemplative and more trusting in God’s Providence. So timely. The experience is so spiritually uplifting. I will definitely go back there and bring more souls that need further contemplation.
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